What is social emotional learning at this age?

It's how students learn to name their feelings, calm themselves down, get along with others, and make thoughtful choices. At this age, students move from simple labels like happy or sad to noticing why they feel that way and what to do about it.

How can I help my child handle big feelings at home?

When students are upset, name the feeling out loud and wait before solving the problem. A short break, a drink of water, or a few slow breaths gives the body time to settle. Talk about what happened once everyone is calm, not in the middle of it.

What should students be able to do by the end of fifth grade?

Students should be able to describe their feelings, use a strategy to calm down, see a situation from someone else's point of view, work in a group without falling apart, and think through choices before acting. They should also know which trusted adults to go to for help.

How do I help my child make friends and handle conflict?

Coach the words, not the outcome. Practice phrases like "I felt left out when..." or "Can we take turns?" before they're needed. After a fight with a friend, ask what the other student might have been feeling, then ask what they'd try next time.

How should I sequence these skills across the year?

Start with self-awareness and self-management in the first weeks so students have shared language and routines for the rest of the year. Layer in perspective-taking and relationship skills once classroom norms are steady, and save decision-making practice for situations that actually come up.

Which skills usually need the most reteaching?

Impulse control and conflict resolution. Students can explain the steps in a calm moment and still skip them when frustrated. Plan to revisit these after long breaks, before group projects, and any time the social temperature in the room shifts.

What does growth look like if there's no test for this?

Watch for students using strategies without being prompted, asking for help by name, and describing a classmate's point of view in their own words. Short check-ins, exit tickets about feelings, and notes on how groups worked together give a clearer picture than any single score.

Should I worry if my child is shy or quiet in groups?

Quiet is not the same as struggling. Watch whether students can ask for help, join a group when invited, and recover after a hard moment. If those pieces are in place, give them time. If they're not, mention it to the teacher.

What does a student learn in ?

This is the stretch when students move from naming feelings to managing them on their own. Students notice what sets them off, try strategies like taking a breath or making a plan, and start seeing situations from a classmate's point of view. They practice working through disagreements and asking for help when they need it. By spring, students can talk through a conflict with a friend and choose a next step that considers both sides.

Managing emotions
Empathy
Friendships
Solving conflicts
Making good choices
Asking for help

Source: New Hampshire New Hampshire College and Career Ready Standards

Year at a glance

How the year usually goes. Every school and district set their own curriculum, so treat this as a guide, not official pacing.

1
Knowing yourself
Students learn to name what they feel and notice how those feelings shape what they do. They start to talk about what they are good at and what is still hard for them.
2
Handling big feelings
Students practice calming down when they are upset, waiting their turn to speak, and getting organized for schoolwork. They set small goals and stick with them when something gets tricky.
3
Seeing other points of view
Students learn that classmates from different families and backgrounds may see the same situation in different ways. They practice listening with care and noticing who they can turn to at school or at home.
4
Working well with others
Students share ideas in a group, take turns leading, and work through small disagreements without shutting down. They practice asking for help and offering help when a classmate needs it.
5
Making thoughtful choices
Students slow down before deciding and think about what might happen next, both for them and for the people around them. They learn that a fair choice is not always the easy one.

Mastery Learning Standards

The required skills a student should display by the end of Grade 5.

Social Emotional Learning

The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts

NH-SEL.1.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students learn to notice their own feelings and figure out how those feelings shape the choices they make. They also take stock of what they are good at and where they need to grow.
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts

NH-SEL.2.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice staying calm under pressure, controlling impulses, and keeping themselves organized so they can follow through on their goals.
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others…

NH-SEL.3.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, including people whose lives look different from their own. They also learn to spot the adults and resources around them at school, at home, and in their neighborhood who can help.
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships…

NH-SEL.4.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice the skills that keep friendships and group work on track: listening, speaking up clearly, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior…

NH-SEL.5.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students think through how a choice might affect themselves and others before acting on it. This standard covers weighing what could go wrong, what could go right, and whether a decision is fair to the people around them.

Standard	Definition	Code
The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students learn to notice their own feelings and figure out how those feelings shape the choices they make. They also take stock of what they are good at and where they need to grow.	NH-SEL.1.3-5
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students practice staying calm under pressure, controlling impulses, and keeping themselves organized so they can follow through on their goals.	NH-SEL.2.3-5
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others… Grades 3-5	Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, including people whose lives look different from their own. They also learn to spot the adults and resources around them at school, at home, and in their neighborhood who can help.	NH-SEL.3.3-5
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships… Grades 3-5	Students practice the skills that keep friendships and group work on track: listening, speaking up clearly, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.	NH-SEL.4.3-5
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior… Grades 3-5	Students think through how a choice might affect themselves and others before acting on it. This standard covers weighing what could go wrong, what could go right, and whether a decision is fair to the people around them.	NH-SEL.5.3-5

Social Emotional Learning

The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts

NH-SEL.1.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students learn to notice their own feelings and figure out how those feelings shape the choices they make. They also take stock of what they are good at and where they need to grow.
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts

NH-SEL.2.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice staying calm under pressure, controlling impulses, and keeping themselves organized so they can follow through on their goals.
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others…

NH-SEL.3.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, including people whose lives look different from their own. They also learn to spot the adults and resources around them at school, at home, and in their neighborhood who can help.
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships…

NH-SEL.4.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice the skills that keep friendships and group work on track: listening, speaking up clearly, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior…

NH-SEL.5.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students think through how a choice might affect themselves and others before acting on it. This standard covers weighing what could go wrong, what could go right, and whether a decision is fair to the people around them.

Standard	Definition	Code
The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students learn to notice their own feelings and figure out how those feelings shape the choices they make. They also take stock of what they are good at and where they need to grow.	NH-SEL.1.3-5
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students practice staying calm under pressure, controlling impulses, and keeping themselves organized so they can follow through on their goals.	NH-SEL.2.3-5
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others… Grades 3-5	Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, including people whose lives look different from their own. They also learn to spot the adults and resources around them at school, at home, and in their neighborhood who can help.	NH-SEL.3.3-5
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships… Grades 3-5	Students practice the skills that keep friendships and group work on track: listening, speaking up clearly, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.	NH-SEL.4.3-5
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior… Grades 3-5	Students think through how a choice might affect themselves and others before acting on it. This standard covers weighing what could go wrong, what could go right, and whether a decision is fair to the people around them.	NH-SEL.5.3-5

Common Questions

What is social emotional learning at this age?
It's how students learn to name their feelings, calm themselves down, get along with others, and make thoughtful choices. At this age, students move from simple labels like happy or sad to noticing why they feel that way and what to do about it.
How can I help my child handle big feelings at home?
When students are upset, name the feeling out loud and wait before solving the problem. A short break, a drink of water, or a few slow breaths gives the body time to settle. Talk about what happened once everyone is calm, not in the middle of it.
What should students be able to do by the end of fifth grade?
Students should be able to describe their feelings, use a strategy to calm down, see a situation from someone else's point of view, work in a group without falling apart, and think through choices before acting. They should also know which trusted adults to go to for help.
How do I help my child make friends and handle conflict?
Coach the words, not the outcome. Practice phrases like "I felt left out when..." or "Can we take turns?" before they're needed. After a fight with a friend, ask what the other student might have been feeling, then ask what they'd try next time.
How should I sequence these skills across the year?
Start with self-awareness and self-management in the first weeks so students have shared language and routines for the rest of the year. Layer in perspective-taking and relationship skills once classroom norms are steady, and save decision-making practice for situations that actually come up.
Which skills usually need the most reteaching?
Impulse control and conflict resolution. Students can explain the steps in a calm moment and still skip them when frustrated. Plan to revisit these after long breaks, before group projects, and any time the social temperature in the room shifts.
What does growth look like if there's no test for this?
Watch for students using strategies without being prompted, asking for help by name, and describing a classmate's point of view in their own words. Short check-ins, exit tickets about feelings, and notes on how groups worked together give a clearer picture than any single score.
Should I worry if my child is shy or quiet in groups?
Quiet is not the same as struggling. Watch whether students can ask for help, join a group when invited, and recover after a hard moment. If those pieces are in place, give them time. If they're not, mention it to the teacher.