What does social emotional learning look like at this age?

Students learn to name what they are feeling, notice how it affects what they do, and start handling tricky moments without melting down. They also practice listening to other kids, working in groups, and making fair choices when something goes wrong.

How can I help my child manage big feelings at home?

When students are upset, give them a minute to cool off before talking. Ask what they felt and what set it off. Over time, they get better at spotting the feeling early and choosing what to do, like taking a breath or asking for a break.

What can I do if my child has trouble making or keeping friends?

Talk through what happened with a friend that day and ask how the other kid might have felt. Role-play tough moments at the dinner table, like joining a game or saying sorry. Small practice runs at home make real friendships easier at school.

How should I sequence these skills across the year?

Start in the fall with naming feelings and class routines for calming down. Move into perspective-taking and group work through the winter. Save conflict resolution and decision-making for spring, once students trust each other and have shared language for emotions.

Which skills usually need the most reteaching?

Impulse control and conflict resolution come back again and again. Students can explain what to do in a calm meeting and still shout across the room an hour later. Plan short, frequent practice rather than one big lesson.

How do I help students who shut down or get overwhelmed?

Build in a quiet spot and a simple signal students can use without talking. Teach two or three calming moves early in the year and practice them when students are calm, not mid-meltdown. Check in privately once they return.

Does my child need to be best friends with everyone in class?

No. The goal is being kind and respectful to classmates, not best friends with all of them. Students should be able to work with anyone in a group, include kids who get left out, and speak up when something feels unfair.

How do I know students are ready for middle school in this area?

By spring, students should name their feelings, calm themselves down most of the time, and work in a group without an adult standing over them. They should also be able to disagree with a friend and repair it later without an adult fixing it for them.

What does a student learn in ?

This is the stretch when feelings get more complicated and friendships do too. Students learn to name what they're feeling, calm themselves down when they're frustrated, and see a situation from someone else's side. They practice working in groups, talking through disagreements, and asking for help instead of shutting down. By spring, students can pause before reacting, settle a small conflict with a classmate, and explain why they made the choice they did.

Managing emotions
Empathy
Friendships
Conflict resolution
Making good choices
Asking for help

Source: New Jersey New Jersey Student Learning Standards

Year at a glance

How the year usually goes. Every school and district set their own curriculum, so treat this as a guide, not official pacing.

1
Knowing yourself
Students start the year noticing their own feelings and what sets them off. They name strengths, spot things that are harder, and begin to see how a mood can shape how the day goes.
2
Handling big feelings
Students practice calming down when frustrated, waiting their turn to speak, and keeping track of homework and supplies. They set small goals and try simple ways to push through when something feels hard.
3
Seeing other points of view
Students learn to listen for how a classmate is feeling and why. They talk about families and backgrounds that look different from their own, and notice the adults at school, at home, and around town who can help.
4
Working well with others
Students practice group work, taking turns with ideas, and disagreeing without it turning into a fight. They learn to ask for help when stuck and to offer help when a classmate needs it.
5
Making thoughtful choices
Students think before they act, especially in tricky moments on the playground, online, or with friends. They weigh what might happen next and consider how a choice affects them and the people around them.

Mastery Learning Standards

The required skills a student should display by the end of Grade 3.

Social Emotional Learning

The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts

NJ-SEL.1.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students learn to name their own feelings and notice how those feelings shape their choices. They also take stock of what they're good at and where they need more practice.
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts

NJ-SEL.2.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice pausing before reacting, handling stress, and staying organized enough to follow through on what they set out to do.
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others…

NJ-SEL.3.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, including people whose lives look different from their own. They also learn who to turn to for help at school, at home, and in their community.
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships…

NJ-SEL.4.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior…

NJ-SEL.5.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice weighing the likely outcomes of a choice before making it, asking whether it helps them and the people around them. This applies to everyday decisions, from resolving a disagreement to deciding how to act in a new situation.

Standard	Definition	Code
The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students learn to name their own feelings and notice how those feelings shape their choices. They also take stock of what they're good at and where they need more practice.	NJ-SEL.1.3-5
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students practice pausing before reacting, handling stress, and staying organized enough to follow through on what they set out to do.	NJ-SEL.2.3-5
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others… Grades 3-5	Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, including people whose lives look different from their own. They also learn who to turn to for help at school, at home, and in their community.	NJ-SEL.3.3-5
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships… Grades 3-5	Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.	NJ-SEL.4.3-5
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior… Grades 3-5	Students practice weighing the likely outcomes of a choice before making it, asking whether it helps them and the people around them. This applies to everyday decisions, from resolving a disagreement to deciding how to act in a new situation.	NJ-SEL.5.3-5

Social Emotional Learning

The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts

NJ-SEL.1.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students learn to name their own feelings and notice how those feelings shape their choices. They also take stock of what they're good at and where they need more practice.
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts

NJ-SEL.2.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice pausing before reacting, handling stress, and staying organized enough to follow through on what they set out to do.
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others…

NJ-SEL.3.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, including people whose lives look different from their own. They also learn who to turn to for help at school, at home, and in their community.
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships…

NJ-SEL.4.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior…

NJ-SEL.5.3-5

Grades 3-5

Students practice weighing the likely outcomes of a choice before making it, asking whether it helps them and the people around them. This applies to everyday decisions, from resolving a disagreement to deciding how to act in a new situation.

Standard	Definition	Code
The abilities to understand one's own emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students learn to name their own feelings and notice how those feelings shape their choices. They also take stock of what they're good at and where they need more practice.	NJ-SEL.1.3-5
The abilities to manage emotions, thoughts Grades 3-5	Students practice pausing before reacting, handling stress, and staying organized enough to follow through on what they set out to do.	NJ-SEL.2.3-5
The abilities to understand the perspectives of and empathise with others… Grades 3-5	Students practice seeing a situation from someone else's point of view, including people whose lives look different from their own. They also learn who to turn to for help at school, at home, and in their community.	NJ-SEL.3.3-5
The abilities to establish and maintain healthy and supportive relationships… Grades 3-5	Students practice getting along with different kinds of people by listening well, working through disagreements, and asking for help when they need it.	NJ-SEL.4.3-5
The abilities to make caring and constructive choices about personal behavior… Grades 3-5	Students practice weighing the likely outcomes of a choice before making it, asking whether it helps them and the people around them. This applies to everyday decisions, from resolving a disagreement to deciding how to act in a new situation.	NJ-SEL.5.3-5

Common Questions

What does social emotional learning look like at this age?
Students learn to name what they are feeling, notice how it affects what they do, and start handling tricky moments without melting down. They also practice listening to other kids, working in groups, and making fair choices when something goes wrong.
How can I help my child manage big feelings at home?
When students are upset, give them a minute to cool off before talking. Ask what they felt and what set it off. Over time, they get better at spotting the feeling early and choosing what to do, like taking a breath or asking for a break.
What can I do if my child has trouble making or keeping friends?
Talk through what happened with a friend that day and ask how the other kid might have felt. Role-play tough moments at the dinner table, like joining a game or saying sorry. Small practice runs at home make real friendships easier at school.
How should I sequence these skills across the year?
Start in the fall with naming feelings and class routines for calming down. Move into perspective-taking and group work through the winter. Save conflict resolution and decision-making for spring, once students trust each other and have shared language for emotions.
Which skills usually need the most reteaching?
Impulse control and conflict resolution come back again and again. Students can explain what to do in a calm meeting and still shout across the room an hour later. Plan short, frequent practice rather than one big lesson.
How do I help students who shut down or get overwhelmed?
Build in a quiet spot and a simple signal students can use without talking. Teach two or three calming moves early in the year and practice them when students are calm, not mid-meltdown. Check in privately once they return.
Does my child need to be best friends with everyone in class?
No. The goal is being kind and respectful to classmates, not best friends with all of them. Students should be able to work with anyone in a group, include kids who get left out, and speak up when something feels unfair.
How do I know students are ready for middle school in this area?
By spring, students should name their feelings, calm themselves down most of the time, and work in a group without an adult standing over them. They should also be able to disagree with a friend and repair it later without an adult fixing it for them.